30 things to Do Before I'm 30

I was going through some old blogs on my MySpace profile and came up on this blog about things that I wanted to accomplish before I turn 30. I'm 27 years old and only have done a few things of them. The list was actually written in a diary when I was 19 but put that in my blog. Here's what I wrote in my blog 6 years ago and you'll see which ones I've accomplished so far in bold pink words.


"This may sound unusual of me to do this but I thought I could share with everyone about what I wrote in my journal when I was 19. In this entry, I wrote down 30 things I felt like I wanted to do before I turn 30 in 9 years from now.
Jan 14, 2004
Dear Diary,
Hey, thought I'd tell you 30 things I would like to do before I'm 30....
1. Learn to play the bass guitar
2. Learn to rock climb
3. Go on a trip to New York City -I came this close to going but a knee injury and pregnancy kept me from going. :(
4. Write a children's book
5. Learn to be a better cook
6. Go to my 10 years' high school reunion
7. Work out to keep in shape -I did for a while but stopped. I have no motivation or a friend to work out with now.
8. Meet a few wrong guys before I finally meet the right one -I did and I'm marrying him in a few months. :)
9. Go on road trips to Seattle, New England, wherever I want.
10. Adopt a couple of kittens and take good care of them. -I adopted one and found another one that was wandering around at my old apt. I still have them and their names are Snickers and Reese.
11. Finish college and get my degree. -I graduated with two associate degrees but still want to pursue a bachelor's so I'm not really done with college.
12. Learn to snowboard -Done that and it was hard!!!
13. Take pottery classes.
14. Take dancing classes.
15. Get a makeover -I did so many times changing hair colors and trying on new clothes styles. It was fun.
16. Find a good place to live
17. Go yachting
18. Pet a dolphin
19. Ride a camel
20. Get a telescope so I'll look at the stars better -I had one for a while but stopped using it because I couldn't figure out how to use it properly.
21. Go camping with friends
22. Being in two places at once
23. Have the best sex ever  :) -no comment, lol.
24. Meet up with old friends -did that and it was great. Would love to do that again!
25. Find the happiness I've been waiting for -I did and hope it'll stick around for a long time.
26. Run in an marathon
27. Go out in the country to watch a sunrise with the true love of my life.
28. Get a heinie (a fake tattoo)
29. Get a great massage -yep and it was a good one.
30. Find out who I am really. -sort of did but still learning more through life experiences

All those things I've just written are what I would like to do but I think half of them will happen and the rest won't. Well, I'll wait and see what I do in a period of time."

So you can see what I've done and I hope I will get to finish the other things in 2 years before I turn 30.

The Life and Death of a Friendship

This is a difficult topic similar to losing a family member but with a different perspective. Friendships are part of your life. You make friends that come and go as you grow up. I started making them at the age of 2 years old when I was enrolled into a deaf preschool program that let us start early before any other regular programs. I had several friends that I grew up with from that age til high school. Then some of them started to go other paths in their paths: college, getting married and having kids young, and working. I went to college and met several more people along the way. Some of them were interesting people and others were well, crazy. Unfortunately, I lost two friends who died while I was in college and it was real sad because I never got to know them more if we did end up being good friends til old age. I did have a few childhood best friends that lasted 20 years or less and recently in the past few years, I lost them because we had changed and didn't spend as much time together as we used to. I learned that life happens and you can't expect people to be around forever. Then there were frenemies (friend/enemies) who were quite a challenge for me and I would constantly have a love/hate relationship with those kind of people. I experienced a couple of friendships that were very toxic to me because of how they treated me or made me bad about myself and yet, I still found myself glued to them. It took me a long time to unstick myself from them. Their betrayal and cruel actions opened my eyes and I realized that it would be unhealthy to continue being friends with them so I had to end them. My mom always tells me that I will have at least 1-3 close friends in my life. Well right now, I feel like I have maybe 1 or 2, but that seems to be going down slowly to one. I had one friend who I considered as one of the bestest close friend ever. We were like sisters and talked all the time via texting or emails. I confided in her about anything and we shared life advices. We had almost everything in common. It was an almost perfect friendship. Then one day, it changed forever when we got into a fight that pretty much ended our friendship. I cried so hard and that was the most heartbreaking thing to go through since the death of my friend years ago. I don't want to mention what the cause of the fight was but it was awful and I still feel guilty about it. I tried to fix it by apologizing thru emails but she distanced herself from me and told me not to talk to her again. It hurt me real bad and it was hard to let that friendship go. So I distanced myself and never spoke to her again til one day she was in town visiting and invited me to come see her. I was reluctant to go see her because I still had those hurt feelings hidden but I told myself to suck up and go. When we did meet up, I was glad to see her but at the same time, it was awkward. I even had to keep a happy face on when I really wanted to cry and hug her which didn't happen. Thank goodness. I would've looked like a fool. We talked as if nothing happened and then I had to leave. She gave me a hug and bid me goodbye. It didn't feel the same as it did once. Then I left feeling like crap afterwards and wondered why we didn't bother to fix this. I felt like it was really over between us. Since that day, I had moved on and occasionally, I will still look at her Facebook page and hope she's doing alright. We still haven't spoken and I miss her terribly. There's nothing I can do about it now. I tried to talk and apologize but she never spoke to me again. So it feels like I'm grieving over the death of a great friendship and I don't know how to get over it. If you think I'm being a crybaby about this, then don't bother talking to me. You should understand that friends are like family to me and I cherish them so much that it hurts when I lose one of them. It takes me some time to heal and move on with my life but I'll never forget those people that came and went. They left footprints in my heart that I will never remove for as long as I live.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

This is the last month of my pregnancy and I'm already impatient! I'm due on the 31st but want Aiden to come early. I'm tired of being pregnant and I'm also ready to be a mommy! The doctor says that so far Aiden is in excellent health and his heart rate has been great too. It gives me a relief knowing that he's healthy despite of what I went thru with him in the first 4 months. I was very sick and lost 20 pounds as a result of severe morning sickness. I gained 30-35 pounds and now I'm big as a beach ball thanks to him. Lol. I'm thankful that he's ok and active. :)

As for the baby stuff needed for when Aiden is here, I have almost everything but still have a few things left. Things need to be put up in the nursery and I need to order a special baby monitor for myself so it can alert me at night when Aiden is crying. This alarm has a light flasher and a bed vibrator. I do have another monitor that's for John mostly to hear his cries and that monitor has a light vibrator I can carry around with me during the day. I have quite a big challenge ahead of me as a deaf mother but I can do it. Oh, you should see the nursery! It looks great so far with walls painted in red, blue, and white. The theme is Texas Rangers/baseball. I have some wall decors like pictures of Ranger baseball players and a little Louisville slugger bat to go on the wall. Can't wait to see how it turns out when completed. :)

Some of you might know that my son's middle name will be named after my friend, Troy, who lost his life in Iraq 5 years and half ago. Last night I was sitting in the nursery by myself when I started thinking of Troy and talked to him as if he was in the room with me. I told him how much I missed him and wished that he would be here to see Aiden. Then I asked him to show me a blue camaro. You're all probably wondering why I asked that. When he was alive, he drove this 1987 blue camaro which he loved so much and it was his fave car. And when he died, I visited his grave two weeks after his funeral to pay my respects. During the visit, I asked him to appear to me as a blue camaro to let me know he was saying hello and with me. Over the years, I would see blue camaros almost every year on my birthday like he was wishing me a happy birthday or whenever I was going through hard times, I would see one and know he was reassuring me that things would get better. Last night, I asked him to show me a blue camaro to let me know if he was listening and would watch over Aiden. The next day(today), I was pulling out when I saw a blue camaro go by me. I smiled and cried. I knew he had listened and was going to watch over my son. It meant a lot to me seeing that car. Thank you, Troy.

Well, there's a light at the end of the tunnel and I'm waiting to see it when Aiden comes. I can't wait to see what he looks like and what kind of personality he will have. It's going to be an awesome experience being a mother and I'm looking forward to it. :D