5 Things I'm Thankful For.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I would like to share my thoughts about 5 things I'm thankful for.

1. God

He is there for me 24/7 and loves me unconditionally. He has blessed me with a good life with wonderful people in it and has given me my own talents in doing what I love to do: art and graphic design. I'm thankful to what He does for me. I love you, God.

2. My family and friends.

Those people are always there for me no matter what and I'm thankful to have them in my life. I love them to death and don't know what I would do without them.

3. My babies.

My cats, Snickers and Reese, are my bundles of joy and they are like kids to me. They love me and always keep me company whether I'm happy, sick, or sad. I'm thankful that I found those furry best friends and adopted them as my own.

4. Art.

Art is part of who I am and I'm thankful that I was given this gift from God to express my feelings, thoughts, and emotions through any form of art. It gives me confidence in myself and a sense of accomplishment whenever I finish an artwork. Art is amazing!

5. Ice Cream.

You might think it's silly that I'm thankful for ice cream but I am. It's my comfort food after a bad day and also a guilt pleasure of mine. I even eat it in the winter time. I'm thankful that it was invented and that my favorite ice cream parlor, Marble Slab, is in Amarillo so I can go whenever I'm in the mood to eat some delicious ice cream! :D

Now that's all the 5 things I'm thankful for. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and don't eat too much!!

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My Personal Hell

I went to an event tonight to see Josh Hamilton, one of my favorite baseball players who plays for Texas Rangers, speak and share his personal experiences with what he described his "hell" from when he was involved in drugs and some other bad things. He also talked about how he turned to God for help and how it changed his life for the better. His wife also was there to share her personal experiences of helping Josh with his struggles and everything else. It was a great thing to hear and it made me think how great God is and always been to me.

It also made me look back to what I consider the worst time of my life and it was my "hell". On March 5, 2006 I was raped by a guy who was a cousin of another guy who I was seeing at that time. It changed my life and I was scarred forever. I went through what you would call the steps of a grieving process...

1. Denial and Isolation.

I was in denial that it ever happened. I didn't cry at the hospital when the cops interviewed me and the nurse performing my rape kit. Yes, I did report because it was the right thing to do but I didn't fully realize how bad it was til I was by myself and broke into tears. I isolated myself for a while after that.

2. Anger.

I got very angry at myself for letting this happen to me, my rapist for what he did, and the world for not helping me. I remember not being mad at God but I did want to know why he let this happen. I didn't understand.

3. Bargaining.

I tried to bargain with God to make the pain and sadness go away by doing something for him. I wanted my life back but it needed to be fixed first.

4. Depression.

I went into a deep depression where I relied on alcohol to help ease the pain and I even considered killing myself.

5. Acceptance.

I went to counseling for a year and eventually accepted that it did happen to me and it wasn't my fault.

That was the procession I went through and the whole time God was with me and he did make me realize that he is real and does love me. I'll admit that I'm not a church person and I don't know many verses from the bible but I can tell you that I love God and talk to him like he's my friend, dad, and therapist whenever I feel like I want to share my thoughts with him. It does help me feel better talking to him. He listens and cares about you.

While it was great to see Josh, it helped me realize that he's a human like us and isn't perfect either. One part of the evening that I liked the most was when he prayed for us. That was the most touching moment and I thought to myself, "wow, one of my favorite baseball player prayed for us. He does care about us and wants us to be close with God."

I want to close with a message....God loves us all no matter what and don't be afraid to talk to him. He's a great listener and always is there even if you think he's not when he really is. He helped me get through my personal hell. That's why I love and believe in him and always will.

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My Dreams

Do you remember when you were a little kid and you had all those dreams of what you wanted to do when you grew up? Well I was a big dreamer...I mean I wanted to be everything (teacher, policewoman, Superwoman, you name it) and guess what? It didn't turn out that way! I did graduate from college with my first degree in general studies which didn't get me anywhere and I went to WT for a brief time and it didn't work out well. I had a problem with what I really wanted in life. It was a big setback for me at that point because I kept on changing my majors so I decided to look into my heart and decide what I really wanted to do. I remembered how I always enjoyed art and even remember all those fun art classes I took in elementary school. And when we had those new Apple computers come out in 1994 or 1995, I remember being fasincated by the computer art programs they had on there like paint and drawing, you know? I would play on the computer and do my own drawings on there. I took art classes in middle and high school too and was a co-editor on the yearbook staff. I helped design the yearbook's cover and pages which I loved to do a lot. That's when I realized that the whole time it was art that inspired me the most and I just didn't know it. Therefore I decided that graphic design was for me and that was what I wanted to do. I love designing anything on the computer and it helps me feel like I've accomplished something.

Now I have one more year left at AC and will transfer to WT afterwards and then hopefully work for a company for a while then start my own business designing stuff for people. Besides doing graphic design, I also would like to travel. There are a bunch of places that I would like to see someday. New York City is #1 on my list right now and I'm making plans to go there next year during Thanksgiving week. I've always wanted to go there since I was a kid so I'm determined to make that dream become reality. That little kid inside me is still a big dreamer.

So for those who think their dreams are impossible, you gotta believe that anything is possible.

My works so far...

Here are a few artworks I've done in school

My Graphic Design Album

and also a few others from a gig I did for my friend's son's birthday party

That's all I have for now....

Hello!

Hi, I'm Amanda Sciacca but you can call me Amanda, Mandy, or whatever you want. I'm new to Blogger but familiar with blogging because I used to blog all the time on Myspace til I stopped a few years ago. I thought I could start doing that again because I like to speak my mind and let the world know. So whatever pops up, I'll just type away on here and I'll feel better afterwards. I also have a Facebook page where I'm constantly posting statuses and it kind of sucks how it limits how much words I can type in when I want to put in more about what happened today. So here I am on Blogger so I can talk more and more, lol. Anyways, if you wanna comment, you're welcome to talk to me on here. Also, I'm wanting to post my graphic designs and other artworks on here so people can see and post comments about them. Stay tuned for more.....