Another Year Ending

Today is the last year of 2011. What can I say? This year had been like a roller coaster ride, full of ups and downs. I could say that I had tests at life and I feel like I had passed some and failed others. I had two difficult anniversaries of terrible events of my life that both happened exactly 5 years ago. I had overcome those days with strength and faith that I had survived and moved on. March 5, 2006 was when I was sexually assaulted and December 3, 2006 was when I learned the bad news that a friend of mine was killed in Iraq after having just talked to him 2 days before. Those events changed my life forever but they made me stronger, even 5 years later. Good things that came out on those anniversaries is that on March 5 of this year, I just lived my life without being afraid or sad. And on December 3 recently, it was the same day I found out I was pregnant and it made me think of my friend and how happy he would've been for me. Then I got injured at work in October resulting in my knee to get dislocated. I had to have surgery to fix my knee and it was a real difficult time, still is but I know that I'll be ok and that there will eventually be a light at the end of the tunnel. It might take me a few more months to recover in the new year. So those were my downs of this year and I'll move on to the ups that I had. I got to see my childhood boy band, New Kids on the Block and favorite baseball team, Texas Rangers play in one weekend. It was awesome! I got very close to Jordan, my NKTOB crush, when he walked by us while singing and I nearly melted! I sat behind the foul line in the outfield at the Rangers game and got a close up look of David Murphy and Josh Hamilton!!! I also wanted to see Ian Kinsler, one of my fave players but it was too far to see. Oh well, I can make plans to go to another Rangers game in 2012! Maybe I'll have a better chance of seeing Kinsler. I graduated with my associate degree this month and I'm proud of my accomplishments. Then I had the biggest surprise of this year: being pregnant. I had never thought about having kids but hey, it's a big up for me to end 2011 and start 2012 with. I decided not to do new years resolutions this year because I'm mainly focused on two things: get my knee better and get through my pregnancy without any complications. The most important thing I hope to have in 2012 is a healthy baby, that's all. For all of you guys, have a happy new year and may you be blessed with a good year ahead of you. :)

A Surprise

Life is full of surprises that you don't expect. I sure got the biggest surprise of my life: I'm pregnant. I had no suspicions that I was til the week after my knee surgery. Sure, the signs were there but I just didn't have a clue. I started throwing up every day I was taking pain medications. I thought my stomach was just reacting to the pills. Then I continued to take the pills and still throw up. I was so sick for two weeks straight and my fiancée, John, had a feeling that I might be pregnant and asked if he could go buy me a pregnancy test. At first, I was in doubt of being pregnant and shrugged it off as just the pills making me sick until I took my last pain pill and within a minute, I threw up and told John that he could go get the test. So he went and got one. I waited for a while and then decided to try. The first test I took, I'll never forget how I freaked out when I saw the second line appear quickly and asked John to come in. He came in and saw that it was positive. He looked scared too and I told him that I'll try another one in the morning to make sure it wasn't a false positive. So I went to bed and woke up the next morning, got up to take another test. Surely, I saw the two lines pop up again. Yelled for John to come in and he came in to see the results. When he saw it was another positive, he smiled and hugged me. He was very excited and I just sat there in disbelief and couldn't talk. Then I said, I'm going to test again. He laughed and said, "why? You're pregnant! I knew it." I told him that I was in denial and wanted to see if I could get a negative. Then the third time, it was positive and John wanted to tell everyone but I told him not to til I got the confirmation from my doctor. He was itching to say something but did what I asked him. I went to the doctor and it was confirmed. Fear filled up in my mind that I wasn't going to be a good mom or be able to walk good on my knee that I had just had surgery on. One thing that still puzzles me to this day is that my baby survived the knee surgery and stress from it. John says that God must have protected it. Now I'm currently 9 weeks along and starting to warm up to the idea of having a baby but reality still hasn't set in yet. I guess it's because I haven't seen my baby on a sonogram yet and once I see it, I know I will change. Pregnancy life has changed me mentally, emotionally, and physically. I suffer from morning sickness and mood swings. I mean, I'm sick almost every day and it's no fun. But I'm starting to learn how to handle it by eating small meals to keep myself from getting sick on an empty stomach. As for mood swings, I cry at commercials or anything that involves babies which is strange because I never did that before I was pregnant. I get upset or depressed sometimes depending on what I experience. I used to be a night owl but lately, I have been falling asleep at 8-9 pm every night. Sometimes I'll be awake at night thinking too much or I have to pee a lot, lol. I sleep up to 12 hours a night and nap for a couple of hours during the day. It's crazy how I'm going through those physical changes that it makes me sick and exhausted but I know that it will be worth it in the end when I have my baby. You know, I gave my baby a nickname, little monster, because it makes me sick every day and my stomach growls all the time! Well, I plan to continue posting updates as I go through my pregnancy and hopefully, I will be able to post pictures of my sonograms and etc when I can. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens and I pray that God will help me through this big change of my life. By the way, Little Monster says hi! :)