There are some good memories but I'll just name a few. One of the best games that I've played was against Palo Duro, one of the toughest teams in our district, during my junior year in a tournament when I did my best. I scored more points than I normally did and worked so hard offensively and defensively. Eventually the game ended and we lost. When we were getting ready to leave the court to head back to the locker room, the entire PD team came up to me and shook my hand. They told me that I did a good job playing and I was surprised. I was the only one who they came up to instead of my teammates. They were impressed with me playing well regardless of my disability. It's not everyday that you have an entire opposing team come up to you and applaud your hard work. Another good memory is all those road trips we took and how much fun it was to hang out with my teammates. I loved those bus rides and still miss them. My favorite memory is probably my junior season when my JV team and I did very well even better than the varsity team in my opinion. I was starting to get better and earned myself a position as a starter in a few games. The girls on my team were great and I got along with them pretty good. That was my best year that I've ever played. There were some bad memories too and a couple of them the worst...my team including myself getting punished by Coach Y. He had us running at 1 am after getting back from a game in Midland. A couple of girls on my team got into a fight on the bus on the way back over something stupid and as a result, we all ended up running for like 45 minutes to a hour til we were nearly dying. I was sooo mad and wished that those girls wouldn't have fought. Another bad memory was getting into a fight with a teammate my sophomore year because of how badly she was treating me and I got fed up with her crap. I got shut out by my team for the rest of the season after that. I mean, they hated me so much that they would trash talk to me and think I was pulling the team down with me. In practices, they would pass the ball to me so hard that I would drop it, bump into me on purpose to make me nearly fall, and they would give me dirty looks. I nearly got kicked off the team when I stood up for myself by getting into that fight with my teammate. That kind of attitude she had towards me was unacceptable. She would constantly be so mean to me and treat me like I was the worst player ever. That night I got into the fight with her, I messed up and accidently missed the ball being passed to me because I didn't see it coming to me and I'm deaf...I mean, I can't always know when someone is trying to pass the ball to me. And she stood on the sidelines giving me a dirty look and said "what's up with you? Why didn't you pay attention to that??" That's when I exploded and went up to her, signed "This isn't my fault so stop it" and she didn't understand what I was signing. Then she got mad at me and I turned around. The entire team got mad at me for fighting with her. I was like, really? you would rather stand up for her against me? It was the worst season I've ever had and I felt like I was the outsider the whole time.
My favorite coach was Coach Williams. She was the best. I had her all 4 years of high school, 3 years as my freshman and JV coach and one year as my assistant coach. She believed in me when other coaches didn't and knew that I would bust my butt trying to do my best that I could. She actually gave me more playing time than my varsity coach ever did and she was always so positive with us, in practices and games. I never once saw her get so mad or yell at us. She inspired me to become a better player and person at the same time.
My varsity coach, Coach Y, was the opposite. He had no absolute belief in me and always put me down. They say that the best coaches are the ones who believe in you and know you try your best and Coach Y wasn't one of them, sadly. I was starting to get better my junior year but when my senior season started, it changed. I remember one time during practice in the preseason when Coach Y asked me to come into his office so I went in with my interpreter and Coach Williams was in there too. Coach Y looked at me and told me that he didn't think that I should be on the team but it was up to me to stay if I wanted to. I was shocked and hurt. He said that if I wanted to stay, he wouldn't give me any playing time. I looked at him and said, "I want to stay. I've been waiting to play on this team since I was a freshman and I'm not leaving." I actually had tears in my eyes when I said it and Coach Y just stood there as if he didn't care. He said "Well, then you don't get any playing time and you can still practice with the team". Coach Williams looked at me and she knew that I had wanted this badly and watched me grow over the years she had coached me. Coach Y even left my name out of the roster in the beginning of the season when they announced who was on the team in the newspaper. It hurt me that he had no belief in me and pretty much implied that I was the worst player on the team. Since that day, I worked so hard and practiced on my shooting to improve. I wanted to prove to him that I could do it. I was the bench warmer the whole season and only got a few playing times. He put me down so much that he actually decided that I wasn't going to travel with the team to El Paso for a big tournament going on there that year. Imagine how that made me feel. I was left behind while he replaced me with a freshman player and I was left alone to practice with the JV team. I remember walking in the locker room the day after my team left for El Paso, the JV girls looked at me in shock and asked me why I was still here instead of the team. I was so embarrassed and told them why. Coach Y had said that he couldn't afford to have me and my interpreter come along. The girls were so angry and couldn't believe it. They told me that I didn't deserve to be treated like that. Then they asked me to play with them in the JV tournament and I said, I wish but can't because of UIL rules that a senior can't play on a JV level. They begged and begged because they needed me. It made me smile knowing that they looked up to me but it broke my heart that I couldn't play with them. I told my mom about the situation and oh boy, she was soooo mad. She thought it wasn't right for me to be left behind so she went up to the principal's office to talk to my principal. She asked her if it was true and Mrs. Harrison (principal) said it wasn't true and that the school could afford to have me and my interpreter come along. Coach Y got into trouble with her and was told to allow me to come on the road trips to tournaments. He apologized to me but still to this day, I don't think he really meant it. For the rest of the season, I endured emotional abuse from him by being benched and getting yelled at in practices. At one point, I messed up on a play in practice and he got so angry that he bounced the ball hard and it flew up in the air. Then he yelled at me and acted like I was pulling the team down with the way I was playing. After practice, I cried in private and wished that he would see me as a good player and respect me more. I didn't give up and continued to show my support for my team. Those were my girls and they needed me to cheer them on. I remember being excited in games and cheering them on and being unhappy with them when we lost. One game, I can't remember who we played but it was a close game and I was so nervous and excited that I kept on waving my shooting shirt in the air and cheering for my girls. Then we won that game by a couple of points and the next day during practice, Coach Y gathered us and said that he was watching the film from the game and noticed one thing. He said he saw me cheering for my teammates and how enthusiastic I was for them. It changed his perspective of me and he called me the "cheerleader" of the team. He told them that he wanted the other girls to act like me, be supportive and excited for your team. I was surprised when he said that because the whole season, he was so negative towards me and that one film showing me cheering for my team changed how he thought of me. I didn't get to play much but I did earn his respect at last. And oh, I did eventually score for the first time in the whole last season and man, I was so excited....it was only 2 points but it made me happiest player on the team that night, lol. It was like a Rudy moment for me. I had worked hard for that one moment when Coach Y put me in a game for a few minutes and that was my goal for the season...just to score at least once with less playing time. He also let me play in the last game of my career and it meant a lot to me even if it was just for a couple of minutes. I see Coach Y's Facebook page and wish that I could just email him and tell him the things that I just wrote on here and he would know how he affected me, good and bad.
As you read this, you're probably wondering why I had a little more bad memories than good ones. It's because I've endured so much as a deaf player on a team full of hearing girls and it was a challenge for me. I'm thankful to have those good and bad memories. My experiences taught me to be strong and stand up for what I believe in. It's been 8 years since I played and I still have those memories. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and change some things but other times, I tell myself to be happy that I got to play my favorite sport with the best team ever. I would love to coach little kids someday and teach them to play their best that they can. Heck, I'd let the weakest player have some more playing time than I ever did because I believe in them.
