Basketball Memories, Good and Bad

I've been watching the NCAA tournament and I got to admit that there has been a lot of exciting games this year. I love basketball. I mean, I love the sport very much and had played it for several of years when I was younger. I wasn't the best player on the court but I did enjoy playing and it helped me be a better person in a way. The best memories of playing are when I was in high school and I admit that there were also some bad ones too. I guess anyone who plays or has played before has good and bad memories too. I remember my teammates and how we played so well together. Well, there were some people who I'd say were difficult to work with and I had to learn to get along with them or it would have been a disaster.

There are some good memories but I'll just name a few. One of the best games that I've played was against Palo Duro, one of the toughest teams in our district, during my junior year in a tournament when I did my best. I scored more points than I normally did and worked so hard offensively and defensively. Eventually the game ended and we lost. When we were getting ready to leave the court to head back to the locker room, the entire PD team came up to me and shook my hand. They told me that I did a good job playing and I was surprised. I was the only one who they came up to instead of my teammates. They were impressed with me playing well regardless of my disability. It's not everyday that you have an entire opposing team come up to you and applaud your hard work. Another good memory is all those road trips we took and how much fun it was to hang out with my teammates. I loved those bus rides and still miss them. My favorite memory is probably my junior season when my JV team and I did very well even better than the varsity team in my opinion. I was starting to get better and earned myself a position as a starter in a few games. The girls on my team were great and I got along with them pretty good. That was my best year that I've ever played. There were some bad memories too and a couple of them the worst...my team including myself getting punished by Coach Y. He had us running at 1 am after getting back from a game in Midland. A couple of girls on my team got into a fight on the bus on the way back over something stupid and as a result, we all ended up running for like 45 minutes to a hour til we were nearly dying. I was sooo mad and wished that those girls wouldn't have fought. Another bad memory was getting into a fight with a teammate my sophomore year because of how badly she was treating me and I got fed up with her crap. I got shut out by my team for the rest of the season after that. I mean, they hated me so much that they would trash talk to me and think I was pulling the team down with me. In practices, they would pass the ball to me so hard that I would drop it, bump into me on purpose to make me nearly fall, and they would give me dirty looks. I nearly got kicked off the team when I stood up for myself by getting into that fight with my teammate. That kind of attitude she had towards me was unacceptable. She would constantly be so mean to me and treat me like I was the worst player ever. That night I got into the fight with her, I messed up and accidently missed the ball being passed to me because I didn't see it coming to me and I'm deaf...I mean, I can't always know when someone is trying to pass the ball to me. And she stood on the sidelines giving me a dirty look and said "what's up with you? Why didn't you pay attention to that??" That's when I exploded and went up to her, signed "This isn't my fault so stop it" and she didn't understand what I was signing. Then she got mad at me and I turned around. The entire team got mad at me for fighting with her. I was like, really? you would rather stand up for her against me? It was the worst season I've ever had and I felt like I was the outsider the whole time.

My favorite coach was Coach Williams. She was the best. I had her all 4 years of high school, 3 years as my freshman and JV coach and one year as my assistant coach. She believed in me when other coaches didn't and knew that I would bust my butt trying to do my best that I could. She actually gave me more playing time than my varsity coach ever did and she was always so positive with us, in practices and games. I never once saw her get so mad or yell at us. She inspired me to become a better player and person at the same time.

My varsity coach, Coach Y, was the opposite. He had no absolute belief in me and always put me down. They say that the best coaches are the ones who believe in you and know you try your best and Coach Y wasn't one of them, sadly. I was starting to get better my junior year but when my senior season started, it changed. I remember one time during practice in the preseason when Coach Y asked me to come into his office so I went in with my interpreter and Coach Williams was in there too. Coach Y looked at me and told me that he didn't think that I should be on the team but it was up to me to stay if I wanted to. I was shocked and hurt. He said that if I wanted to stay, he wouldn't give me any playing time. I looked at him and said, "I want to stay. I've been waiting to play on this team since I was a freshman and I'm not leaving." I actually had tears in my eyes when I said it and Coach Y just stood there as if he didn't care. He said "Well, then you don't get any playing time and you can still practice with the team". Coach Williams looked at me and she knew that I had wanted this badly and watched me grow over the years she had coached me. Coach Y even left my name out of the roster in the beginning of the season when they announced who was on the team in the newspaper. It hurt me that he had no belief in me and pretty much implied that I was the worst player on the team. Since that day, I worked so hard and practiced on my shooting to improve. I wanted to prove to him that I could do it. I was the bench warmer the whole season and only got a few playing times. He put me down so much that he actually decided that I wasn't going to travel with the team to El Paso for a big tournament going on there that year. Imagine how that made me feel. I was left behind while he replaced me with a freshman player and I was left alone to practice with the JV team. I remember walking in the locker room the day after my team left for El Paso, the JV girls looked at me in shock and asked me why I was still here instead of the team. I was so embarrassed and told them why. Coach Y had said that he couldn't afford to have me and my interpreter come along. The girls were so angry and couldn't believe it. They told me that I didn't deserve to be treated like that. Then they asked me to play with them in the JV tournament and I said, I wish but can't because of UIL rules that a senior can't play on a JV level. They begged and begged because they needed me. It made me smile knowing that they looked up to me but it broke my heart that I couldn't play with them. I told my mom about the situation and oh boy, she was soooo mad. She thought it wasn't right for me to be left behind so she went up to the principal's office to talk to my principal. She asked her if it was true and Mrs. Harrison (principal) said it wasn't true and that the school could afford to have me and my interpreter come along. Coach Y got into trouble with her and was told to allow me to come on the road trips to tournaments. He apologized to me but still to this day, I don't think he really meant it. For the rest of the season, I endured emotional abuse from him by being benched and getting yelled at in practices. At one point, I messed up on a play in practice and he got so angry that he bounced the ball hard and it flew up in the air. Then he yelled at me and acted like I was pulling the team down with the way I was playing. After practice, I cried in private and wished that he would see me as a good player and respect me more. I didn't give up and continued to show my support for my team. Those were my girls and they needed me to cheer them on. I remember being excited in games and cheering them on and being unhappy with them when we lost. One game, I can't remember who we played but it was a close game and I was so nervous and excited that I kept on waving my shooting shirt in the air and cheering for my girls. Then we won that game by a couple of points and the next day during practice, Coach Y gathered us and said that he was watching the film from the game and noticed one thing. He said he saw me cheering for my teammates and how enthusiastic I was for them. It changed his perspective of me and he called me the "cheerleader" of the team. He told them that he wanted the other girls to act like me, be supportive and excited for your team. I was surprised when he said that because the whole season, he was so negative towards me and that one film showing me cheering for my team changed how he thought of me. I didn't get to play much but I did earn his respect at last. And oh, I did eventually score for the first time in the whole last season and man, I was so excited....it was only 2 points but it made me happiest player on the team that night, lol. It was like a Rudy moment for me. I had worked hard for that one moment when Coach Y put me in a game for a few minutes and that was my goal for the season...just to score at least once with less playing time. He also let me play in the last game of my career and it meant a lot to me even if it was just for a couple of minutes. I see Coach Y's Facebook page and wish that I could just email him and tell him the things that I just wrote on here and he would know how he affected me, good and bad.

As you read this, you're probably wondering why I had a little more bad memories than good ones. It's because I've endured so much as a deaf player on a team full of hearing girls and it was a challenge for me. I'm thankful to have those good and bad memories. My experiences taught me to be strong and stand up for what I believe in. It's been 8 years since I played and I still have those memories. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and change some things but other times, I tell myself to be happy that I got to play my favorite sport with the best team ever. I would love to coach little kids someday and teach them to play their best that they can. Heck, I'd let the weakest player have some more playing time than I ever did because I believe in them.

A Day of Horror and Heartbreak

Yesterday, Amarillo saw the worst day it ever had in years. Massive wildfires were sparked by high winds up to about 65 mph and they spread around outside the city in some certain areas. I was at my grandma's in Canyon when I got a  message from a friend who informed me that there was a high wind warning and that fires were spreading like hell. At first, I thought it was just a small one, I mean, I've seen many fires around Amarillo before and they were usually put out fast. I just went on and watched a movie, then during the movie, the electricity went out twice due to the high winds blowing and hitting the power lines. My grandma said that the roof sounded like it was about to blow off or something. I finished the movie and decided to check my Facebook and was horrified to see reports coming in from the Amarillo Globe News' page about fires spreading and burning so many houses including one business. One thing that broke my heart the most was those people losing their homes and a local kennel was burned down to the ground and killed some animals that were kept there. I told my grandma about it and we changed the channel to watch the news. They showed pictures of the fires and said that a lot of people were evacuated from their homes. They listed areas that were in danger and I realized that one of my friends lived in one of those areas so I text messaged him to see if he was ok. He said he was ok and his house wasn't in danger but his family had to be evacuated from their houses. They ended up having to stay with him overnight because the cops wouldn't let anyone go back to their houses til the fires were contained and that it was safe to reenter. I was getting very concerned and hoped that not any more fires would start once I started to drive back home to Amarillo so I waited til the winds died down. When the winds finally did, I left Canyon and on the way home, I could see the huge smoke in the sky above the city's skyline and could smell the smoke even if it was just 20-30 miles away. I almost wanted to cry and prayed that God would watch over those people and protect them. I'm thankful to God that I have a home and my cats but it still hurts my heart that there were so many houses and pets lost in the fires. You can't replace those kind of things. I never really understood how bad it could be til yesterday when I saw the smokes and realized that it was close to home and those people really did lose everything they had.

Today I was reading the news when I found out the cause for those wildfires in the northern area of Amarillo and felt sick to my stomach. A guy was arrested for trespassing on a private property to cut metals and it was very windy yesterday and he didn't even care. The sparks from the grinding of the metals got into the dry grass and the winds blew them so hard that they spread quickly. People saw him doing that and reported it to the cops. This man is responsible for so many losses and I don't know what he's thinking right now while he's sitting in jail. All I hope is that he's sorry and will be willing to take responsibility for what he has done. And for the other areas affected by the wildfires, there has been no causes found yet but I know we will find out eventually. My friend also told me today that his parents and sister were able to go back to their houses and praise God, their house and animals are ok but have damages inside their houses due to smoke soot and front yards are burned. He went there and said it looked very bad out there. Nothing but a few houses were burned to the grounds and the grass are brown and black all over. All of this was destroyed by a simple mistake a guy made at the wrong time and wrong place.

This tragedy made me feel helpless and sad so I decided that I wanted to help those victims out. I found some information on where to go and drop stuff off. I gathered all of the clothes I don't wear and put them in bags and headed to the Salvation Army. They were happy to take the clothes in and told me that they will be taking those to one affected area tomorrow and the other one by Wednesday. It made me feel good knowing that those people will be getting clothes when they need them the most. I plan on donating some money at a local bank to give to the Red Cross for the victims. And one more thing I can do for the victims is pray to God that He will help them get through this tragedy and give them strength to rebuild their lives from ashes.

Psalm 46:1

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."

Good Advices

I was checking my emails and came across on one email that touched me. In this email, a 90 years old from Cleveland wrote 45 lessons on how to live your life and they all were good. So I want to share with all of you and hope you'll take those advices from this lady who has really lived her life to the best she could. 

Written by a 90 year old

This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure 
you read to the end!!!!!!

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , 
Ohio.

"To celebrate growing  older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. 
It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once  more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2.  When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and  
parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their 
journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret,  you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It's never too late   to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going  after what you love in life, don't take no for 
an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22.  Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will 
this matter?'

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad  a situation is, it will change.

32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not  because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36.  Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.

37.  Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40.  If we all threw our  problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42. The best is yet to come...

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

I would definitely take those lessons to live my life the way I want it to be.  :)

2010 in Review and My New Year's Resolutions

2010 is now coming to an end and a new year is coming up. I'm kind of sad that 2010 is almost over because it was a pretty good year for me. I've had a lot more ups than downs. I think.

My ups were:

1. Getting engaged to my boyfriend of 3 years. We are so happy!

2. Doing real good in school and learned a lot.

3. Went on fun trips with family and friends. Went to New Mexico and Dallas.

4. Seeing my beloved Rangers go to the World Series for the first time ever. Amazing!

5. Getting to see Josh Hamilton of the Rangers speak in person. I was in awe.

6. My fave college basketball team Duke won the national title for the 1st time in 9 years. I was super excited!

I can't remember any other ups I've had this year but I do know that a lot more good things had happened to make it an interesting year.

My downs:

1. Two deaths in my family, my great uncle and great-great aunt (she was 84 and an amazing lady with a big personality who lived a good life). It was a sad time for my family but I'm thankful that God has given us comfort and strength to get through those sad times.

2. Sprained my shoulder pretty bad that I couldn't move my arm for nearly 2 weeks. Made me appreciate my arm even more because I need it to sign and do other things.

3. Got my car stuck in the snow for a few days after a blizzard. It was no fun and I had to rely on other people to give me rides to work and school. The worse winter storm ever to hit Amarillo in like 10 years and I hated it.

Now there's a few new year's resolutions that I would like to make (half of them probably won't happen but I'll try!)

1. Start working out again to get back in shape. My health is important to me.

2. Go on trips, especially my dream trip to New York City!

3. Keep myself more motivated to do artwork and do some projects for myself.

4. Get involved in a organization to help other people. I've thought about becoming an advocate for sexual assault victims.

5. Try to get myself to cook more. I hate cooking but have to learn so I can eat better.

Well, that's my review of my life in 2010 and I have to accomplish those resolutions, hopefully.

Happy New Year and may 2011 bring us good things as 2010 has done for me.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

5 Things I'm Thankful For.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I would like to share my thoughts about 5 things I'm thankful for.

1. God

He is there for me 24/7 and loves me unconditionally. He has blessed me with a good life with wonderful people in it and has given me my own talents in doing what I love to do: art and graphic design. I'm thankful to what He does for me. I love you, God.

2. My family and friends.

Those people are always there for me no matter what and I'm thankful to have them in my life. I love them to death and don't know what I would do without them.

3. My babies.

My cats, Snickers and Reese, are my bundles of joy and they are like kids to me. They love me and always keep me company whether I'm happy, sick, or sad. I'm thankful that I found those furry best friends and adopted them as my own.

4. Art.

Art is part of who I am and I'm thankful that I was given this gift from God to express my feelings, thoughts, and emotions through any form of art. It gives me confidence in myself and a sense of accomplishment whenever I finish an artwork. Art is amazing!

5. Ice Cream.

You might think it's silly that I'm thankful for ice cream but I am. It's my comfort food after a bad day and also a guilt pleasure of mine. I even eat it in the winter time. I'm thankful that it was invented and that my favorite ice cream parlor, Marble Slab, is in Amarillo so I can go whenever I'm in the mood to eat some delicious ice cream! :D

Now that's all the 5 things I'm thankful for. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and don't eat too much!!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

My Personal Hell

I went to an event tonight to see Josh Hamilton, one of my favorite baseball players who plays for Texas Rangers, speak and share his personal experiences with what he described his "hell" from when he was involved in drugs and some other bad things. He also talked about how he turned to God for help and how it changed his life for the better. His wife also was there to share her personal experiences of helping Josh with his struggles and everything else. It was a great thing to hear and it made me think how great God is and always been to me.

It also made me look back to what I consider the worst time of my life and it was my "hell". On March 5, 2006 I was raped by a guy who was a cousin of another guy who I was seeing at that time. It changed my life and I was scarred forever. I went through what you would call the steps of a grieving process...

1. Denial and Isolation.

I was in denial that it ever happened. I didn't cry at the hospital when the cops interviewed me and the nurse performing my rape kit. Yes, I did report because it was the right thing to do but I didn't fully realize how bad it was til I was by myself and broke into tears. I isolated myself for a while after that.

2. Anger.

I got very angry at myself for letting this happen to me, my rapist for what he did, and the world for not helping me. I remember not being mad at God but I did want to know why he let this happen. I didn't understand.

3. Bargaining.

I tried to bargain with God to make the pain and sadness go away by doing something for him. I wanted my life back but it needed to be fixed first.

4. Depression.

I went into a deep depression where I relied on alcohol to help ease the pain and I even considered killing myself.

5. Acceptance.

I went to counseling for a year and eventually accepted that it did happen to me and it wasn't my fault.

That was the procession I went through and the whole time God was with me and he did make me realize that he is real and does love me. I'll admit that I'm not a church person and I don't know many verses from the bible but I can tell you that I love God and talk to him like he's my friend, dad, and therapist whenever I feel like I want to share my thoughts with him. It does help me feel better talking to him. He listens and cares about you.

While it was great to see Josh, it helped me realize that he's a human like us and isn't perfect either. One part of the evening that I liked the most was when he prayed for us. That was the most touching moment and I thought to myself, "wow, one of my favorite baseball player prayed for us. He does care about us and wants us to be close with God."

I want to close with a message....God loves us all no matter what and don't be afraid to talk to him. He's a great listener and always is there even if you think he's not when he really is. He helped me get through my personal hell. That's why I love and believe in him and always will.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.5

My Dreams

Do you remember when you were a little kid and you had all those dreams of what you wanted to do when you grew up? Well I was a big dreamer...I mean I wanted to be everything (teacher, policewoman, Superwoman, you name it) and guess what? It didn't turn out that way! I did graduate from college with my first degree in general studies which didn't get me anywhere and I went to WT for a brief time and it didn't work out well. I had a problem with what I really wanted in life. It was a big setback for me at that point because I kept on changing my majors so I decided to look into my heart and decide what I really wanted to do. I remembered how I always enjoyed art and even remember all those fun art classes I took in elementary school. And when we had those new Apple computers come out in 1994 or 1995, I remember being fasincated by the computer art programs they had on there like paint and drawing, you know? I would play on the computer and do my own drawings on there. I took art classes in middle and high school too and was a co-editor on the yearbook staff. I helped design the yearbook's cover and pages which I loved to do a lot. That's when I realized that the whole time it was art that inspired me the most and I just didn't know it. Therefore I decided that graphic design was for me and that was what I wanted to do. I love designing anything on the computer and it helps me feel like I've accomplished something.

Now I have one more year left at AC and will transfer to WT afterwards and then hopefully work for a company for a while then start my own business designing stuff for people. Besides doing graphic design, I also would like to travel. There are a bunch of places that I would like to see someday. New York City is #1 on my list right now and I'm making plans to go there next year during Thanksgiving week. I've always wanted to go there since I was a kid so I'm determined to make that dream become reality. That little kid inside me is still a big dreamer.

So for those who think their dreams are impossible, you gotta believe that anything is possible.