Frustrated

Okay, I want to vent something on here. I don't give a hoot if you think I'm being mean for what I say on here. I've been so frustrated for the past two years since I got pregnant with my son. The reason is religion and the people who practice it. I'm a former church goer and what you would consider as "lost" from God. I mean, I still believe in Jesus and know he's the real deal but really, it's the so called Christians that I have a problem with. I lost so many friends because they judged and banished me as a friend for having a kid out of wedlock. That was the most hurtful thing I've ever gone through and I still haven't forgiven them for that. It's been hard for me to trust churches since then and I'm constantly bashed for supporting liberal views on gay marriage, abortions, helping poor people have health insurance, and etc. I have my own reasons for my choice of politics. I have gay friends who I love dearly and want to see them have the right to get married like I did to marry my husband. I'm a rape victim and used the morning after pill because I didn't want to give birth to a monster's baby and believe abortions are best for women when they're in that kind of situation. I'm disabled and receive social security benefits so bash me all you want. I made that choice so I would stay afloat and I don't make enough at my job to help my husband pay bills. I don't support wars at all because I lost a friend to one and it became real to me that war does suck. I'm sorry that I suck to you as a person because I think differently from you. I learned that God wants us to love each other no matter what and I would never force my beliefs on anybody. It's not fair of anyone to tell me that I'm wrong for what I choose to believe and support. I might not agree with your conservative views and I keep my religious beliefs to myself but I love you and wish that you would respect me when I try to explain why I'm the way I am without you throwing the Bible at me. That's why I tried to avoid sharing my political and religious opinions on Facebook a lot because it was making people delete me. I see your posts but just hide them or scroll past them and yet, I see you disappear because you hate my posts and delete me. This year has been a crazy one in my opinion. People fought over Chick-Fil-A and Hobby Lobby. I don't agree with their choices but it doesn't stop me from going to their places. I love chicken and crafts. And now this Duck Dynasty mess has crossed the line for me because I say one thing and next thing I know, a life long friend gets angry at me for defending gay people. I was hurt and told him that I respected him for his choices but he had no right to get angry and be rude to me for that. I choose not to watch the show because it's not my type of show and I'm not a redneck. I don't agree with what Phil Robertson said and it's his right to say whatever he wants but people, do you really have to bash those who don't agree with him? Politics and religion has ruined many many friendships I had with people and I'm getting tired of it. I'm tired of being told I'm a sinner for my life choices. The reality is that we all are sinners and not perfect so accept it and I ask y'all to treat each other like you would like to be treated. Well that's the end of my rant so you have the choice whether you want to keep me as a friend or not. Have a Merry Christmas and please keep your quacks about Duck Dynasty quiet and I will keep mine to myself. :) 

One more thing....

That's what I wish for all of us to have someday without wanting to kill each other.

A Merry Star Wars Christmas

Here's more Christmas humor to share with y'all. May the Force be with you. :)

Funny Elf on the Shelf Ideas

It is Christmas season so I was looking online and found several pictures of Elf on the Shelf Ideas and thought I would share them with you. They're pretty funny and creative. Enjoy!

Starting Over

A lot has changed for me in the past month. I quit my job because I was unhappy and wanted to make my graphic design degree usable so I decided to start a small business by designing graphics on shirts, mugs, cards, and etc. Believe me, I felt like a failure for a while because things weren't happening the way I wanted them to. People seemed uninterested in my work and I felt discouraged but just kept faith in myself that I could eventually get it going. My family has been supportive of me the whole time. I had worked for a long time and for me to quit my job and start out on my own was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I'm used to working for people above me and working by myself isn't easy but I am starting to get used to it and feel better every day that I keep working on things I create. Besides graphic design, I'm working on arts/crafts where I make things by hand and sell them. So far, I've sold 2 Christmas wreaths and already have two orders to fill. When I sold them, I felt overjoyed at the thought that I made something and I got to sell it to someone who appreciated my hard work and loved my art. When I tell people what I do, some are happy for me but others just act like I'm trying too hard and setting myself up for failure again. I guess it is part of having your own business. Without encouragement and support, I don't think I would be able to go on. I try so hard to advertise my work everywhere by word, Facebook, and other social media to get it out there to be known. This is new to me and I hope that things will get better for me. For those reading my blog, I could appreciate if y'all could spread the word about what I'm doing. I am working on setting up a page on Facebook once I get my business to get better and selling more things. If y'all have tips about what I can do to improve things, let me know. Thank y'all for your support. :)

A Split America

As we know it, Election Day is tomorrow and it's been agonizing for me when I see people fighting on Facebook constantly over politics. I'm going to tell you a secret: I haven't voted. Surprising, isn't it? Just because I have liberal views doesn't mean I'm gonna dance my way to the voting poll and check the box for Obama. I thought about this for a long time and it was hard for me. I voted for Obama four years ago believing that he would actually change things and make them better for us. Yes, he did end the war in Iraq and did a few good things but at the same time, I'm disappointed. Unemployment rate is still bad and we have a real high debt. And I got a real bad feeling about Obama. While he might seem charming on the outside, I see something inside him that bothers me. I see pictures of him disrespecting the American flag by not placing his hand on his chest and the whole Libya coverup scandal has opened my eyes. He seems to not care about the true meaning of being a proud American and defending us. I don't want a president who ignores the American flag and his country people. You might disagreed with me but it's just my instincts telling me that there's something wrong about this picture about Obama. Hard to explain. If I could pick anyone over him, I would go for Hilary Clinton but unfortunately, I don't think she's going to run again.

And if you're wondering that I decided to vote for Romney. You're wrong again. I hate him. He wants to take women's rights and equal pay rights away. He wants to set our country back to the 1950s and have us become freaking housewives. He also doesn't believe in gay marriage which I do. I know some of you would hate me for believing in that. I have several friends who are gay and lesbians and they're wonderful people. It seems unfair that I get to be married and they don't. I wish they could have a legal marriage and be viewed equally. I believe that Romney doesn't really care about what he calls the 47% which are some of us. I'm part of the 47% because I'm on disability benefits and don't work right now. I don't expect you to sympathize me for that. I didn't ask to be deaf and struggle to find a good paying job without being discriminated. I'm a full time mom taking care of my son and trying to make ends meet by making crafts and cards to sell so I can make extra money. If I were to meet Romney, I'm sure he would look down at me and think I'm lazy and relying on government money. Pretty pathetic, isn't it?

So you can see why I don't like both of them. That's why I decided that for the first time in 8 years, I'm not going to vote. Why vote for people you don't like or trust? And if you tell me to vote for the 3rd party, I won't. I know nothing about the other parties than democratic and republican. What's the point of voting? Both aren't right leaders for us and whoever wins, we are screwed either way. Now I've said enough and all I can do is hope that our country bounces back from a bad economic time and have changes made to get better. And if I keep seeing people complaining about whoever wins this election on Facebook, I'm going to delete the posts. We have to move on and keep hoping for the best. We are split as a nation and need to unite again.

May God Bless America....

30 things to Do Before I'm 30

I was going through some old blogs on my MySpace profile and came up on this blog about things that I wanted to accomplish before I turn 30. I'm 27 years old and only have done a few things of them. The list was actually written in a diary when I was 19 but put that in my blog. Here's what I wrote in my blog 6 years ago and you'll see which ones I've accomplished so far in bold pink words.


"This may sound unusual of me to do this but I thought I could share with everyone about what I wrote in my journal when I was 19. In this entry, I wrote down 30 things I felt like I wanted to do before I turn 30 in 9 years from now.
Jan 14, 2004
Dear Diary,
Hey, thought I'd tell you 30 things I would like to do before I'm 30....
1. Learn to play the bass guitar
2. Learn to rock climb
3. Go on a trip to New York City -I came this close to going but a knee injury and pregnancy kept me from going. :(
4. Write a children's book
5. Learn to be a better cook
6. Go to my 10 years' high school reunion
7. Work out to keep in shape -I did for a while but stopped. I have no motivation or a friend to work out with now.
8. Meet a few wrong guys before I finally meet the right one -I did and I'm marrying him in a few months. :)
9. Go on road trips to Seattle, New England, wherever I want.
10. Adopt a couple of kittens and take good care of them. -I adopted one and found another one that was wandering around at my old apt. I still have them and their names are Snickers and Reese.
11. Finish college and get my degree. -I graduated with two associate degrees but still want to pursue a bachelor's so I'm not really done with college.
12. Learn to snowboard -Done that and it was hard!!!
13. Take pottery classes.
14. Take dancing classes.
15. Get a makeover -I did so many times changing hair colors and trying on new clothes styles. It was fun.
16. Find a good place to live
17. Go yachting
18. Pet a dolphin
19. Ride a camel
20. Get a telescope so I'll look at the stars better -I had one for a while but stopped using it because I couldn't figure out how to use it properly.
21. Go camping with friends
22. Being in two places at once
23. Have the best sex ever  :) -no comment, lol.
24. Meet up with old friends -did that and it was great. Would love to do that again!
25. Find the happiness I've been waiting for -I did and hope it'll stick around for a long time.
26. Run in an marathon
27. Go out in the country to watch a sunrise with the true love of my life.
28. Get a heinie (a fake tattoo)
29. Get a great massage -yep and it was a good one.
30. Find out who I am really. -sort of did but still learning more through life experiences

All those things I've just written are what I would like to do but I think half of them will happen and the rest won't. Well, I'll wait and see what I do in a period of time."

So you can see what I've done and I hope I will get to finish the other things in 2 years before I turn 30.

The Life and Death of a Friendship

This is a difficult topic similar to losing a family member but with a different perspective. Friendships are part of your life. You make friends that come and go as you grow up. I started making them at the age of 2 years old when I was enrolled into a deaf preschool program that let us start early before any other regular programs. I had several friends that I grew up with from that age til high school. Then some of them started to go other paths in their paths: college, getting married and having kids young, and working. I went to college and met several more people along the way. Some of them were interesting people and others were well, crazy. Unfortunately, I lost two friends who died while I was in college and it was real sad because I never got to know them more if we did end up being good friends til old age. I did have a few childhood best friends that lasted 20 years or less and recently in the past few years, I lost them because we had changed and didn't spend as much time together as we used to. I learned that life happens and you can't expect people to be around forever. Then there were frenemies (friend/enemies) who were quite a challenge for me and I would constantly have a love/hate relationship with those kind of people. I experienced a couple of friendships that were very toxic to me because of how they treated me or made me bad about myself and yet, I still found myself glued to them. It took me a long time to unstick myself from them. Their betrayal and cruel actions opened my eyes and I realized that it would be unhealthy to continue being friends with them so I had to end them. My mom always tells me that I will have at least 1-3 close friends in my life. Well right now, I feel like I have maybe 1 or 2, but that seems to be going down slowly to one. I had one friend who I considered as one of the bestest close friend ever. We were like sisters and talked all the time via texting or emails. I confided in her about anything and we shared life advices. We had almost everything in common. It was an almost perfect friendship. Then one day, it changed forever when we got into a fight that pretty much ended our friendship. I cried so hard and that was the most heartbreaking thing to go through since the death of my friend years ago. I don't want to mention what the cause of the fight was but it was awful and I still feel guilty about it. I tried to fix it by apologizing thru emails but she distanced herself from me and told me not to talk to her again. It hurt me real bad and it was hard to let that friendship go. So I distanced myself and never spoke to her again til one day she was in town visiting and invited me to come see her. I was reluctant to go see her because I still had those hurt feelings hidden but I told myself to suck up and go. When we did meet up, I was glad to see her but at the same time, it was awkward. I even had to keep a happy face on when I really wanted to cry and hug her which didn't happen. Thank goodness. I would've looked like a fool. We talked as if nothing happened and then I had to leave. She gave me a hug and bid me goodbye. It didn't feel the same as it did once. Then I left feeling like crap afterwards and wondered why we didn't bother to fix this. I felt like it was really over between us. Since that day, I had moved on and occasionally, I will still look at her Facebook page and hope she's doing alright. We still haven't spoken and I miss her terribly. There's nothing I can do about it now. I tried to talk and apologize but she never spoke to me again. So it feels like I'm grieving over the death of a great friendship and I don't know how to get over it. If you think I'm being a crybaby about this, then don't bother talking to me. You should understand that friends are like family to me and I cherish them so much that it hurts when I lose one of them. It takes me some time to heal and move on with my life but I'll never forget those people that came and went. They left footprints in my heart that I will never remove for as long as I live.