10 Years Later

It's a couple of hours after midnight and I can't sleep. It's because I realize that it's September 11th, 10 years after what was the worst attack on America in history and I witnessed it on a tv screen like everyone else did. It's funny how one day out of your entire life can be etched into your memory for the rest of your life and I can't even remember many other days in my life except for a few and that day was one of them. It still seems as if it was yesterday....every detail of what I saw and how I felt. I know that I wasn't there physically in New York City or DC to see the attacks but to see it on tv was horrific and I didn't understand why it happened.

I was 16 years old and had just started my junior year about 3 weeks before. I remember getting to school early on that Tuesday morning and it seemed like a normal day like any other day. Did my normal things, hanging out with my friends in the hallway before class started and walking to the building where my first period class was in. It was Physics and my teacher was Mrs. Steinkirchner who I called Mrs. S for short. I remember walking into the class room and sitting down as Mrs. S turned on the tv. I wondered why she was doing that and I saw the gritty image of two buildings on fire. The tv was old and didn't have good picture but it still was obvious what was being shown. My interpreter, Ann, was confused as well and asked what was going on. That's when Mrs. S told us that the World Trade Center in NYC had been hit by a plane. I was like Huh? What? and thinking Why are we watching this? I had never heard of WTC in my entire life til I saw those burning towers on the tv screen. At first, I thought it was just one plane that sort of flew through both buildings and that it might have been a pure accident. I didn't realize that a second plane had hit too. So we watched for a little while til they announced that another plane had just hit the Pentagon and I remember the shock and fear when I realized that it wasn't an accident and that we were under attack. Fear started building up inside me and I was afraid that there were more planes headed for other buildings or something. Ann and I got very afraid that there would be a plane heading for Pantex, a nuclear facility about 20 miles away from Amarillo, to bomb it and we would be doomed. We decided that we wanted to go to another room to watch tv because it had better audio and picture. We were sitting and staring at the screen when I saw the south tower collapse as if it was going down in slow motion on live tv. My jaw dropped and it took me a moment before I turned to Ann and said, "There had to be a lot of people in that building!" I hoped that they were ok but I knew that they didn't make it. I almost cried but didn't know what to think or say. All I could think of was my family and hoped that they were ok and I wanted to go home badly. Parents were coming to school to pick their kids up. My mom was at another school where she worked as an interpreter and couldn't get off to come get me and my sister. I ended up being stuck at school all day long and it seemed endless for me.  I remember when I was in my history class which was before lunchtime, they reported that another plane had crashed in Pennsylvania. I felt sick to my stomach and hoped that there were no more planes in the air and that not any more people were dying. By the time I was in my English class, they said that all planes were grounded down and I was relieved knowing that none of those planes were in the air. Then the principal announced on the PA that there would be no practices or any after school activities and for us to just go home. By the end of the day, I walked outside to the parking lot where my mom was parked while waiting for me. I got in the car and she grabbed my hand and said, "I am glad that you are with me. I was worried about you and your sister all day long. Wanted to just leave work and get you girls home but I couldn't get off." Looked like she was about to cry. I was actually happy to be with her after a long and scary day. We drove to Canyon where I lived at that time and I recall that when we came into town, we saw long lines at every gas station and I asked my mom why there were long lines. She said that people were probably scared that something would happen and that they needed more gas in case gas would be shut off. She dropped me off at home and told me that she was going to get gas. It took her about 45 minutes to a hour to just get gas. That's how scared everyone was. I watched the news and was horrified to see what really happened. I was shocked and didn't understand why people would do such things as using innocent passengers as human bombs to kill many others. I watched the news for hours and when I needed a break, I changed the channels and I swear that almost every channel was off the air with messages saying that they had to shut down and let their staff go home to their families. I remember that the only channels still on were the cartoon/kids ones which made sense to me. It was to keep kids occupied and unaware of what was going on. My stepdad, who was dating my mom at that time, called to check on us and told my mom that he listened to the radio while truck driving all day long without seeing what had really happened. Didn't see anything til he got home and turned the tv on. He was shocked too. I couldn't sleep well that night and the next day, it was like a blur to me. I was confused and in denial that such tragedy had occurred. I didn't really cry til a few days later when it came across my mind that so many people had died and that I would never understand why they had to die horrible deaths.

Over the past 10 years, I had moved on but never forgot what I witnessed on that tv screen. Even though I live over 1,000 miles away from NYC, it still affects me because it was not only an attack on New Yorkers and DC residents, it was also an attack on my own country which I love very much and am very proud to having been born and grew up in. This 10th anniversary is different for me from any other anniversaries where I would pause for one day to remember and move on with my life like everyone else. I'll be going to NYC in two months to spend a week there and I plan on going to Ground Zero to pay my respects. Honestly, I don't know how I'll feel or what I'll think but I know it would be a different emotion/feeling from what I've been feeling all those years. At the same time, I'm looking forwards to seeing the new WTC tower that is currently being built. I've been following up on the progress while it's being built and so far, over 80 floors have been built making it the now tallest building in Manhattan. That'd be a great sight to see and to me, it's like showing those terrorists that we are still strong and standing up against them by not letting them defeat us. If you want to see the progress on the tower, there are two links that you can go to: http://www.lowermanhattan.info/construction/project_updates/freedom_tower_26204.aspx#summary and
http://www.panynj.gov/wtcprogress/index.html

As you can see, this is my story of what I experienced that day. We all have different stories from our perspectives but we will never forget. My heart still goes out to the innocent victims and survivors along with their families and also the true heroes who risked or lost their lives to just save others. I ask you to pause and remember 9/11 and continue to pray for those who are still affected by the attacks a decade later. May God bless America.